Klutch the Kremling

Taking inspiration from the figures of Kremlings like Klump and Kludge, Kluth the Kremling is a big ol’ croc. Working as a mechanic on the Mario Kart circuit keeps him quite busy, but he doesn’t seem to mind.


  • Hatchday: April 15th
  • Height: 8′ 0″
  • Weight: 900+ lbs.
  • Eyes: Brown
  • Hair: n/a
  • Body Colors: Dark green (outer), yellow-gold (ventral)


A rather large crocodilian sort, Klutch the Kremling might look a bit intimidating to smaller folk than himself, though the good natured look on his face usually allays most fears. At an even eight feet if he stands up straight (and perhaps six across), the semi-toonish reptile beast is several hundred pounds of muscle-chub goodness, with heavy muscles that go with a ponderous middle jiggling just so when he walks. Dark green hued scales, like the color of zucchini skin, cover most of his body including his long snout, and longer tail. His thick chest and girthy middle are coated in yellow-gold scutes. He looks to be in his mid-thirties.

Klutch has the long, pointed snout of his species, complete with the requisite amount of sharp teeth inside. No hair or eyebrows adorns his head, though eyeridges are present. Curiously for a reptile, he has whites about the eyes and brown irises with round black pupils, though that’s a typical thing for his species. While he often communicates with bellows & grunts, he can & does speak, his voice quite deep and  featuring a vaguely southern twang mixed with a light midwest accent – perhaps reminiscent of southern Kentucky or Tennessee.

Looking at the rest of him, Klutch sports hefty, muscled limbs with clawed fingers and toes respectively. Like many of his kind, his arms are a little bigger than his legs, making him a bit slow to get around, but that doesn’t seem to bother him much. His chest is a large mound of muscle, swelling out the scales there neatly. Curiously, its got a pair of fat brown nipples on ’em, a rather un-reptilian trait, but seemingly standard for his species. His ponderous gut, which he’s fond of slapping, is quite larger. The kremling’s paunch is pleasantly round and firm looking, matching his bulbous butt. His tail snakes behind him, lined with a double set of short, ridged scutes that ride up all the way up his wide back and to the top of his head.


  1. A button-down, short-sleeved, black work shirt that’s only half buttoned from the bottom to show himself off. It features a white patch with his name embroidered in red script, with red trim about the edges. Below the waist he has a faded-out pair of blue jeans on, the cuffs looking like they’ve seen better days. Around his waist is a simple brown leather belt with a silver toonish skull buckle. Big brown work boots cover his feet, laced up tight, but they’re scuffed up and bear remnants of old grease stains.
  2. The shirt from above, plus a pair of overalls replacing the pants, likely with more than a few tools and such in his pockets. Same boots, but his head has the added decoration of a black baseball-style cap with a likeness of a fire flower set in the center.


Being a video game based character (especially from SMB), Klutch enjoys certain perks, including:

  • A cache of extra lives (though he doesn’t usually have to or want to rely on these)
  • The ability to respawn by waiting to go “off screen”
  • Ability to fix anything by walking up to it with whatever tool and making generic motions until a repair meter is filled up
  • Staying underwater or in space indefinitely (may require absurd fishbowl helmet)
  • Automatic expertise in almost any sport
  • (Hypothetical) ability to use power-ups
  • …and so on.


Working behind the scenes as a mechanic on the Mario Kart circuit, Klutch enjoys a fairly comfortable and secluded life away from either the K. Rool Krew or many of the other antics that go on in the Mushroom Kingdom, fixing and tuning up karts. Some sources say he got away from that life at an early age, and never looked back; thankfully, his natural mechanical talents let him get by. He is a terrible racer, however – or at least, he claims to be.

Klutch is an unusal sort for a race typically depicted as having aggressive and territorial tendencies. Generally pretty relaxed and quick to find a laugh, he really is quite the momma’s boy, even if he tries to (partially) hide it. He may exhibit signs of a slight self-esteem problem in certain situations, such as when he perceives the other person to be superior; he won’t tolerate bullies though. He isn’t bright by any stretch, but he isn’t really dumb either – still, this is one area he knows he lacks in (or thinks he does – he could go on about the finer points of kart maintenance for an hour or two). If the subject of sex comes up, he can be quite bashful (almost cutely so) – which can make it hard for him to attract a partner. This isn’t always the case; often after warmed up to someone, it (of course) gets easier for him to indulge.

Klutch’s favored species include elephants, gargoyles, dragons, gators, crocs, koopas, snakes, lions, tigers, orcas, and bears. Rabbits and several other small mammals tend to be looked upon as food. The krem secretly adores dragons and the right one will find him very obedient, if somewhat clingy.